Not Me Monday

Today, I did not take That Kid back to the audiologist. He did not do everything he was supposed to do, and was not perfect!!!! :D :D He does not have negative ear drum pressure, meaning that his ear drums aren't moving, probably left over from the croup he's getting over. :'( Luckily, his hearing is just fine!!! Yea That Kid!

Thursday, That Kid and I are not getting on an airplane bound for the Golden State. We have not been flying together since That Kid was 3 months old. He does not have more frequent flier miles than That Dad! ;) This is not going to be a quick five day trip; and we did not pick this week because That Kid doesn't have school on Monday. I am not pulling him out of school for THREE DAYS because he had a teacher planning day. I am not an irresponsible mother, I would not pull him out of school because of a one day event! Because of the negative ear drum pressure, I am not worried about him freaking out on the plane, so I did not buy him benedryl today. I did not give him some this afternoon to test it out and make sure he wouldn't be super hyper, and he did not fall asleep within five minutes. I do not think that benedryl is a miracle drug!!!

We also did not go Christmas shopping at the mall today with my friend and two of her kids. We did not play with puppies, and I did not want to buy That Kid a kitten. A cat, really. I do not love Persian cats, and there was not a Marmalade Persian at the pet store. While we were not shopping, we did not go to Pantera Bread for coffee. I did not, as we were walking out of the mall, spill some of my coffee on That Kid's head, and he did not smell like a Gingerbread latte for the rest of the day. It was not my second favorite smell on his hair, trumped only by the time we did not go to Cold Stone for ice cream when he was just 4 weeks old and his head smelled like a waffle cone for a week after that! He did not look at me and say, "Mah hair!!! Mama's drink!! Mah hair, mah hair!!!!!!" and I did not start laughing. I was also not followed out of the mall by mall security, which did not freak me out. They were not looking at a vehicle that was right by mine, and I was not allowed to go merrily on my way. :)

Finally, I am NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT looking forward to seeing New Moon in two weeks. There is not a group of us going on opening night. We are not going to wait in line for three hours before the show starts in order to guarantee us seats. I am not in love with Edward Cullen the 117 year old vampire. I did not go to a video store that was closing last week and buy a copy of Twilight and a box of New Moon Forbidden Fruits Sweetarts, and I am not re-reading Twilight.

OK, I'm not going back to watch Little People, Big World. I do not think that the Little People are headed for divorce. I do not think there is some strange TLC curse, and that the Duggars better end the show after this season before Jim Bob has to pay child support for those 19 kids!!! Nope...not me!!!!