Poop...it's the new "FIRE"

That Kid has taken a disliking to his jammies (or jammas, as he calls them). He yells, "NO! No jammas!" and kicks and flails while I try to put them on him. Once I get them on him, he takes them back off and throws them as far away from himself as he possibly can.

Getting That Kid ready for bed tonight, I put his jammies BACK on him. And he started yelling, "POOP! POOPPOOPPOOP!!!! POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" like there was some major emergency. I asked him if he pooped, he said no. I asked him if he needed to poop, he said no. I asked him if he wanted to keep his jammies off *just in case* he pooped, and he smiled and kissed my arm. Little manipulator. And his jammies are (currently) on. We'll see if they're still on once I make my return.

Chestnut Pie

Happy Thanksgiving, all! Hope you had wonderful days with your families, and ate yourselves stuffed!

We had an interesting day. It was my first time hosting, and I was excited to do that. Until I woke up that morning only to discover That Kid had found my lipgloss in the middle of the night and decided to finger paint while That Dad and I (sort of) slept. Wednesday night/Thursday morning was not good sleep time. We were up coughing half the night. I seriously have no idea how That Kid found time to fingerpaint on my dresser (and ruin a shirt That Grandma gave him)! I'm just thankful that he didn't decide to go fingerpaint on Mama's new slipcovers in the living room. I would have been eating turkey from the county jail had that happened!

That Mother-in-Law arrived to help me with the turkey about 8:30, and we set the dining room table. After the turkey was done, she left to get herself ready, and came back around noon; bringing That Step-Father-In-Law with him (That Dad still can't remember that he has a STEP FATHER and keeps calling his Step Father "My Father-in-Law". When he tells people that his mother lives with his Father-in-Law I'm sure people think our family is a special sort of crazy. Every time he says Father-in-Law in reference to his Step Father I tell him, "Leave my Daddy out of it!" ;) ).

We finished getting appetizers set out for our first round, and That Dad's cousin brought his wife and their family. Had a nice time visiting with the "Thanksgiving Family" (because that's pretty much the only time we see them...unless there's a funeral or wedding, or we need our house refinanced; That Dad's cousin is a mortgage broker.), and after they left That Mother-in-Law and I got dinner ready and set out. Except for the green salad, which I totally forgot to make; and the fruit salad, which I did make but forgot to uncover. Next year I'm making a list. And when That Dad said the Thanksgiving prayer, he made sure to be thankful for the fact that That Kid fell asleep before dinner and we could eat in peace! :)

About 9PM, That Mother-in-Law and That Step-Father-in-Law took off, leaving us pie. Delicious pie with a butter crust That Step-Father-in-Law made from scratch. Pumpkin Chiffon, and Pecan (which is my most favorite pie!!! Especially with a butter crust that tastes just like butter cookies!). As we're enjoying our Pecan Pie, That Dad looks at me and says, "I wonder how this pie would taste with chestnuts instead of pecans? Use the same filling, but substitute chestnuts!" and I told him I wasn't sure, I'd never had a chestnut before. Then, That Dad made the best statement of all time. He said, "You haven't had any of the chestnuts yet?" And it hit me. The bowl of nuts that we have out on the table...the bowl of nuts that each evening, because I love him, I take a few nuts out and crack them for him, the PECANS his mother and step-father brought back from Georgia, are the CHESTNUTS of which he was speaking. Poor guy...he still won't know what chestnut pie tastes like. And he won't be able to roast the chestnuts on an open fire like he was planning on doing...because they're pecans. :)

Mortified. That's all I can say.

Today, That Kid went to school. Since it's Thanksgiving week, he only went to school one day this week...and it happened to be today. And I used my time away from That Kid to go grocery shopping for the big day with That Mother-in-law in peace. We got everything we needed, plus the new Vanity Fair magazine with Robert Pattinson on the cover. (Mama, he's Edward in Twilight. Go find a picture of him somewhere. I swear you will want to print the picture out and carry it around with you like Mimi carried the picture of the goats.)

I went back to school to pick up That Kid, and his favorite aide tells me that his nose has been runny all day, green nasty snot, and he couldn't breath. Fabulous. He didn't have a runny green nose yesterday, he didn't have a green runny nose this morning when I dropped him off (that I noticed). But, after I dropped him off his nose started running green, and he couldn't breath. Now that he's back home, he seems to be feeling better (except at lunch when he had some ice cream and got an ice cream headache. He started proclaiming, "My head hurt!" and then ate some french fries.)

But the green snotty nose wasn't the worst of it. Since there are only six kids in That Kid's class, we are required to provide our own snacks each day. Not a big deal. That Kid loves those yogurt melts from Gerber, along with cheese and breadstick dippers, crackers, raisins, and popcorn. I typically send a sippy cup with juice or milk in it, take the cup out each morning after I pick That Kid up, and wash it immediately. Well...Friday was different. We didn't go straight home. And by the time we got home, I just wanted to rest, and get ready to go see New Moon. I thought nothing of the sippy cup of milk that was sitting in his backpack. This morning when I put the cup of juice in his backpack, I didn't see that the cup from Friday was still in the bag because it was covered by his wipes. However, when I was checking his bag after school...THERE IT WAS. Milk, from Friday, sitting in the bag. That Dad said, "CPS should be here any minute, huh?" I'm sure if it happens again they will...but hopefully his teacher will give me a free pass. I may be That Mama, but I'm not THAT irresponsable! ;)

I don't have a penis

That Kid is sick again. He's been complaining ever since he woke up this morning that his ears hurt, and has been generally clingy and whiny. We're going to the doctor at 11, in case it's an ear infection. I'd rather be safe than sorry.

In an attempt to get things hurried along this morning, I tossed That Kid into the tub with me. I gave him a washcloth with some of his yummy oatmeal baby wash on it, and told him to wash his penis. So he did. And then...the words every mother dreads were uttered from my baby's mouth...

"Where your penis, Mama? It goooooooooooooone!"

I told him Mama has something different, and left it at that. He didn't ask anything else. Nor will he be bathing with me again. Which sucks, because I like to give him his bath while I take mine. It's so much easier that way! Or it was, until this morning.

Sunny greetings from the Golden State!!

That Kid and I have been in the Golden State since Thursday. Yesterday was our first full day. He had a perfect plane ride, and I was just happy we got on the plane at all. Somehow, my brain got everything mixed up and we arrived at the airport at 9am for our 9:55 flight. We got on the plane at 9:45. I had sweat dripping down my face. I looked FABULOUS!

Yesterday, I got my hair cut. I get my hair cut every time I come visit. I have known my stylist since I was 3, and she used to sell me shoes. When the shoe store closed, she became a hair stylist, and has been doing my hair ever since. Yesterday, in a blast from the past, she once again sold me some shoes. :) I am now the very, very, very proud owner (Just ask That Grandma!) of a pair of white and silver Sketcher Shape Ups...and I can't wait to get back to the gym!!

Oooh...That Kid is awake. I better go see him, before he thinks I've left him here!!

Not Me Monday

Today, I did not take That Kid back to the audiologist. He did not do everything he was supposed to do, and was not perfect!!!! :D :D He does not have negative ear drum pressure, meaning that his ear drums aren't moving, probably left over from the croup he's getting over. :'( Luckily, his hearing is just fine!!! Yea That Kid!

Thursday, That Kid and I are not getting on an airplane bound for the Golden State. We have not been flying together since That Kid was 3 months old. He does not have more frequent flier miles than That Dad! ;) This is not going to be a quick five day trip; and we did not pick this week because That Kid doesn't have school on Monday. I am not pulling him out of school for THREE DAYS because he had a teacher planning day. I am not an irresponsible mother, I would not pull him out of school because of a one day event! Because of the negative ear drum pressure, I am not worried about him freaking out on the plane, so I did not buy him benedryl today. I did not give him some this afternoon to test it out and make sure he wouldn't be super hyper, and he did not fall asleep within five minutes. I do not think that benedryl is a miracle drug!!!

We also did not go Christmas shopping at the mall today with my friend and two of her kids. We did not play with puppies, and I did not want to buy That Kid a kitten. A cat, really. I do not love Persian cats, and there was not a Marmalade Persian at the pet store. While we were not shopping, we did not go to Pantera Bread for coffee. I did not, as we were walking out of the mall, spill some of my coffee on That Kid's head, and he did not smell like a Gingerbread latte for the rest of the day. It was not my second favorite smell on his hair, trumped only by the time we did not go to Cold Stone for ice cream when he was just 4 weeks old and his head smelled like a waffle cone for a week after that! He did not look at me and say, "Mah hair!!! Mama's drink!! Mah hair, mah hair!!!!!!" and I did not start laughing. I was also not followed out of the mall by mall security, which did not freak me out. They were not looking at a vehicle that was right by mine, and I was not allowed to go merrily on my way. :)

Finally, I am NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT looking forward to seeing New Moon in two weeks. There is not a group of us going on opening night. We are not going to wait in line for three hours before the show starts in order to guarantee us seats. I am not in love with Edward Cullen the 117 year old vampire. I did not go to a video store that was closing last week and buy a copy of Twilight and a box of New Moon Forbidden Fruits Sweetarts, and I am not re-reading Twilight.

OK, I'm not going back to watch Little People, Big World. I do not think that the Little People are headed for divorce. I do not think there is some strange TLC curse, and that the Duggars better end the show after this season before Jim Bob has to pay child support for those 19 kids!!! Nope...not me!!!!

Kids are intuitive

Recently, That Kid is talking to unseen-by-us objects. He waves at the sky and says, "Hi Ghost!" When he's pressed for information, he tells me that the ghost is white, and nice.

Since my father-in-law passed away, That Kid has waved at nothing. It's only been recently (in the last two weeks) that he actually says he sees a ghost. I know that he recently learned the word ghost at school, so I'm not sure if he just now knows what he's seeing, or if he's just being imaginative.

I did show him a picture of my father-in-law and ask him if that's his ghost, and he told me it wasn't, but then said yes it was. Also, since we've moved into this house (That Dad's childhood home, and where my father-in-law passed away), That Dad has had several dreams about his Dad; more vivid than the ones he had at our old house; and we've both been having dreams that he's called us to help us with things around the house. Like something breaks and while That Dad is trying to fix it his cell phone rings and his Dad is calling with instructions and ideas about how to fix it. It's always stuff in the house, and my father-in-law never wants to talk about things that are going on, just wants to tell That Dad how to repair the problem.

Who knows what's going on. If it truly is my father-in-law That Kid is seeing, I'm glad. I've been sad That Kid wouldn't remember his Grampa, but maybe he'll be able to know that his Grampa loves him and is still there for him...even if he can't hug him.

Wordless Wednesday

The return of the In-Laws

My mother-in-law and step father-in-law will be returning from their summer home in Washington sometime today. And today, of all days, is the day I chose to break down.

I will never be my mother-in-law. And now that we're living in her house, I'm afraid she's going to judge me. I don't keep house like she does, I don't decorate like she does, and I'm just afraid she's going to come in and hate what I've done to her home. I'm afraid at Thanksgiving she's going to hate my turkey, and my gravy...and I don't know why. My mother-in-law is one of the sweetest people I know and we have a great relationship; I know I'm blessed to have such a great mother-in-law. However, I just can't help but feel inadequate.

I never thought I'd have these feelings. And of course, when I told That Dad how I was feeling he said, "Don't worry! We won't even let them in the house!" :)

Not me Monday

That Kid is not home from school today. He does not have a cough that is deep, and nasty, and coming from his chest. I did not have to cancel a whole bunch of appointments today. He was not going to go see that mean audiologist that made me cry last month, and was not going to have his first real check up at the dentist today. That Dad is also not sick, and I do not have a sore throat and cough. We are not a sick family!!!

I was not going to go work out for the first time in two weeks. Having That Dad home with us three days a week is not making it difficult for me to work out. I do not tell him that I'm going to work out and he does not respond with, "But don't you want to go out for breakfast while That Kid is in school?" I am not a sucker for pancakes, bacon, and sausage. Especially the fancy flavored ones they have at U Jump right now. I think we're not going to have to go there in the next couple weeks so I can try pumpkin and egg nog pancakes.

That Kid has not lost his television privileges for two whole days. Today is not the first day. He did not throw That Dad's Mp3 player in the fish tank on Saturday, thus causing me to take him out of his costume without getting any pictures and keeping him home; and I did not tell him if he threw anything else in the fish tank he would lose his beloved TV time. Last night, after I put him in bed, he did not come get me and show me that he threw the fancy book light that came with my Snuggie in the tank. I did not make him apologize to the fish, because that would just be bizarre. And, I have not had to only tell him once why the TV isn't coming on today (for him, anyway). Nope...none of this is me. NOT ME!!!